Friday, September 26, 2008

slightly nervous/slightly excited

a mom called me this afternoon to discuss some details about tomorrow's big event. she ended the call with "so are you nervous?"

i am actually getting pretty used to faking confidence in front of people. sure, i may freak out and call friends/family members and vent, but i guess, for the most part, i'm pretty good at faking it in front of the boss/parents/music vendors. but despite my awesome attempt some people still break through my guarded exterior.

i'm honest with them.

sure i'm nervous. i'm taking 60 high school students on a trip an hour away that will last approx. 13 hours of the day with a limited number of chaperones. i have only been to the city once in my life and i have no idea where anything is. on top of that, i'm taking them all to the mall to relax for the 3 hours between performances. yeah, i'm taking 60 kids to the mall.

please God, let them not get taken... or commit a crime.

the thing that freaks me out the most is that i'm a first year teacher. i've never actually done this. i'm worried that the clinicians will rip my teaching apart. i want to go up to them and say "you know, i'm new. please be gentle." but i also have that part of me that says "you know, i think they're good. i think they have worked hard, and i am trying my best to help them learn."

this will be a learning experience. for the students and me.

one of my students said that his older sister lives in the city we're going to. i asked how old she is. he said 23.

i turn 23 in February.

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